I love bullshit philosophy/self diagnosis. It’s where you know of your own problem and know why it is that it is occurring. In most situations there is already some branch of philosophy which covered it, but it’s nice to come to your own conclusion. So I have these Bullshit Hypothesis/Philosophies, and here’s the first, I call it ‘The Gap’.
When you look at life. it’s really hard to know what is what. I mean, if someone had told me 10 years ago, that I’d be in this position if I didn’t “change my ways”, I’d probably still be in this position. Because there is no guard against who you really are. The gap is that moment, it only occurs when you are conscious, when you revert back to ‘the real you’, after all your hard work to change, the work put in to be different, yet still end the same; because in that moment, however long or short the true you comes out. And it most likely always will.
Let me elaborate, the gap isn’t relaxation time, it isn’t eating food, it isn’t smoking, it isn’t drinking, taking whatever prohibited narcotics and it isn’t having sex. The gap is simply any activity that takes you backwards from where you currently stand in any thing or situation in your life. The gap can be eating greasy, oily, unhealthy pizza during a diet. It could staying on Reddit for hours after you promised yourself you wouldn’t because you’re behind on assignments. It’s when you know you should be doing something and yet you don’t do it. It shouldn’t be confused for weakness, they are two very different concepts. It is that moment when you are about to commit a regressive activity, plus, the moment when you’re committing it. In those moments you are doing something which you know you shouldn’t but have no control against it, when you’re done doing whatever it is, you come back to reality and ask yourself why you did that. You can’t understand why because now in this very moment when you’re questioning yourself, you feel you would not do it again but you probably will.
You feel like you were unconscious, but you weren’t. You promise yourself you will never let that happen again and you work as hard as possible to ensure that it doesn’t happen again. I call it the gap because it occurs between two moments:
1. When you are self-aware to all your regressive activities and know you should not do any of them
2. The moment after you’ve either committed a regressive activity and/or faced the consequences of a regressive activity.
It’s a gap in consciousness, progressive consciousness.
Take sleep for an example. Sleep would not be categorized as a regressive activity, even if it makes you late for work one day. The underlying condition may be that you were too tired and needed those extra minutes, your body needed them, and when your body didn’t need any more sleep, you woke up. Now if that happens everyday, and eventually starts to affect your work and your performance in other parts of your life, then the amount of time you take sleeping becomes a regressive activity. Look at it this way, say you are supposed to set your alarm and possibly get your mind set for less hours of sleep than you are used to. A gap would be, not setting your alarm/turning it off when it rings/hitting the snooze button one too many times, then being late for your job/lecture, or whatever it is you set the alarm for.
I’m yet to discover a guard against the gap, because like I said, you’re hardly aware when it is happening, it feels natural. One thing I have discovered is you can minimise the amount of time that it occurs through one thing; working hard. You know of your own regressive activities, you know how good they feel to you, how natural it is, so don’t work hard to stop yourself from enjoying them, that’s near impossible. Instead work hard to control when they occur, suffer now doing the stuff you hate but which will get you to a better place in life, then when you get to that better place, let loose a little.
I said just a little, don’t fuck up your life and blame me.